A late diary entry...

This is a little entry I wrote right after Mihaela left..... Literally. Right. After. She. Left... So this is a little emotional and probably a bit drastic..

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I don't know why but for some reason when I walked back into the hospital after they took Mihi, I half expected her to come running down the hallway to me like she had been doing for almost 2 weeks now...
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We were sitting at lunch, just about to finish up when Mihaela got a phone call. Mihi and Gabi are leaving. Do we want to say goodbye?... Some people gasped and said yes quickly in reply. Me?  I just sat there as a single tear fell from my eyes...No. I couldn't go see her again.. It would be too hard to say goodbye..I just couldn't do it.
I walked outside and sat on a bench and turned my ipod up really loud. and just sat there and cried. The other volunteers slowly came out after saying their goodbyes, My mom told me to get up and at least watch then leave...I stood up and saw Coca holding Gabi and holding Mihi by the hand. Mihi saw me and took off running to me..She ran into my arms and all I did was hug her and cry. I said a little prayer that these foster parents would be loving to her and Gabi. Then I remembered her favorite game "sus" which means "up" in romanian...
"Sus?" I asked her
"Da" she replied
I proceeded to toss her into the air about 5 times as she giggled and laughed. Then I hugged her once more as more tears fell from my eyes. "Goodbye sweetheart, I love you." I whispered in her ear and she just looked at me and smiled..
"Pa." (Goodbye.)  I told her as I put her back down.
"Pa!!" she giggled and waves and she went back to Coca.
More tears came falling down as she got into the car and finally went away.
Goodbye Mihi. I love you
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I am sitting here int he hospital and all the kids seems the same. Ana Maria is giggling. Elena is smiling... Where is my little Mihi's laugh? Where is Gabi sitting with her gold glitter ball?... gone.
They are gone. and they won't be back.
I will just learn to adapt with the other kids. But Mihi will always be my little sweetheart. I will miss her laugh. her smile... and even her little pout.

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Sorry for all the emotional stuff.. but I felt you guys should know how much it affected me to see her leave...